Drumming up business


Or, today’s contribution to road safety.

On the main road home from work, I spotted a black van ahead of me, being dangerously driven.

In general, none of this is unusual. Vehicles, including black vans, are frequently driven dangerously. Like today’s instance, they are regularly hurled from lane to lane at speed with nary a hint of an indicator, nor a concern as to whether there might be sufficient space for the vehicle in its new target lane. I use the word target intentionally. But this was unusual, for the following two reasons.

First, it was the worst – as in least efficient – example of repeated rapid lane changing I have seen in a long, long, time. I assume that the purpose of such lane changing is to get ahead; to steal an extra few meters in the race home. This driver was making the wrong choice, time after time, and moving into a lane that started to slow up upon his arrival. First the outside lane, then the middle lane, then the inside lane, then the middle lane, and on, and on. In and out and in and out in seconds. This driver had the motoring equivalent of ants in his pants (fires in his tires?) and could not stay in one lane for very long.

(I confess, at this point, I am making what might be termed a sexist judgement. This was a male driver. Bound to have been…)

But with his extreme lack of patience and plain bad decision making, every time the black van moved to a new lane, it was worsening its position.

The benefit of this poor judgement and driving was that I got to see the van close up without having to speed up. And seeing the van provided the second reason this bad driving was unusual:

Cropped and edited from Wikimedia/Chu

Sourced from Wikimedia/Chu, and then cropped and edited

It was a van from one of the burial societies. Who the hell needs to rush ahead in a burial society van? There was only one conclusion that made sense. They were trying to drum up business, one way or another…