Timing Out

I forgot to take my headphones with me when I went to the gym last night, so I couldn’t listen to my music while I exercised. After what I thought was a good ten minutes of hard work, the clock on the gym wall told me I’d barely managed two minutes. I was not happy. I managed to complete my full routine, but it was so much harder without the music.

Compare and contrast.

This morning, I woke up 15 minutes before the alarm was due to go off. I was awake, but decided to wait for the alarm before getting up. Two minutes later, the alarm went off. Or rather, it seemed like two minutes.

If only I could master the passing of time, so the nice stuff dragged, and the hard stuff sped by, and not the other way round.

I’ll keep dreaming.

London Rules – Mick Herron

Number five in the excellent Jackson Lamb spy series, this novel keeps up the quality and panache of those that came before, and is a terrific read.

The story this time around involves a terrorist plot that seems to have the authorities stumped. In addition, there’s a suspicion that the intelligence branch know more than they are letting on. Can Claude Whelan, top spook, find the best solution? He has to deal with a loose cannon politician and his troublesome media darling wife, and Whelan’s own number two is on his shoulder ready to swoop on any misstep.

So far as the Slow Horses are concerned, one of their number (Roderick Ho) seems to be the target of a less than deadly killer, the rest of the crew think their latest recruit is a psychotic individual prone to acts of murder, and Jackson Lamb has his hands full keeping his team intact, and their participation in the game free from Whelan’s meddling.

If I have a criticism, it is the underlying formulaic structure of the plot. I knew early on how this would work out. [Spoiler alert!] Since there are more Jackson Lamb books, you are curious to know how he survives, not whether he does.

That apart, simply great fun. There are moments of comedy gold here, with some dialog that deserves the big screen treatment. To cut to the chase, this is highly recommended. But do start at the first book and read them in order.

Space Carrier Avalon – Glynn Stewart

This is space opera with an emphasis on the spaceship Avalon, in its day the flagship of the Castle Federation. Now, some twenty years later, the much decorated warship is on one final trip before being decommissioned.

The book starts with the arrival of new commanders of the flight crew, and from there on in, it’s action and excitement.

Or, at least it was supposed to be that way. Unfortunately, I was totally unconvinced. I found the characters lacking in appeal, the dialog to be wooden, and the writing a veritable deluge of tell, tell, tell.

There’s a corruption thread that has potentially huge consequences, but simply disappears. The fight sequences are not too bad, though you have to suspend disbelief a fair chunk to get over the techno babble terminology on which the science fiction part is grounded.

This simply did not work for me. Stay away.

The Trespasser – Tana French

This was an impulse buy from the local Steimatzky’s (bookstore) that turned out to be a surprisingly good read.

Detective Antoinette Conway is part of the Dublin Murder Squad, and she hates it. Primarily, she’s being harassed by some – if not most – of her colleagues. Think college hazing with a bit more spite. The poor girl is at war in her daily work, and it’s a wonder she continues to stick it out.

Then, she is assigned a new case that seems like it’s open and shut, and so should take away some of the tension. A young girl is found dead in her home, the table set for a dinner for two. It has to be the boyfriend. But what are these nagging suspicions Antoinette has, and where does she recognize the deceased from?

The book is dark and desperate in places because that’s the spot that the heroine occupies, as she tries to work out her angst and find a way out of the troubles. Inevitably, she is under pressure to wrap up the case quickly. It doesn’t help she appears to be being stalked, and she is not sure if she can trust her partner.

About half way through, I would have said the only material weakness in the book is that the central character is the only one with real depth. But the second half piled up more on other characters, to the extent there was quite a crowd of them at the end.

The plot is straightforward enough with no real depth, but the atmosphere and the writing is splendid. The tension is real, and the world is all too believable.

I was less than impressed to find this is part of a series – and not the first. I plan on starting again at the beginning. (I do wish publishers would make this more explicit on the cover.)

Good crime fiction, with a spicy, clever female lead character. What’s not to like?

The Accident on the A35 – Graeme Macrae Burnet

I bought this because of the publicity material. For examples, see after my review. Everyone said it was a great book, and the author was a wonder. Well, I disagree.

I found it to be a gentle, calm, crime novel. Sort of Agatha Christie set in France without the plot twists or an accumulation of dead bodies. In other words, calm as in flat. (Dead flat?)

The central story is Gorski’s investigation into the apparent death in a road accident of a fine upstanding member of the local community. Gorski is smitten with the grieving widow, and goes out on a limb somewhat.

Gorski, is well drawn and interesting if somewhat feeble in places. His matrimonial situation is not material to the plot, but we get to experience that too. The resolution did not seem realistic to me, and that whole part of the novel was unsatisfactory.

The dead man’s son, Raymond, goes off the rails, and his actions following his father’s death are a parallel thread to Gorski’s investigation. Raymond’s travails are more interesting, but truly that is not saying a lot.

In short, not much happens, the plot is a wispy nothing, and the end was a major let down. On the plus side, there’s Gorski’s character, and not much else.

I was so disappointed. Do not waste your time.

And now for some of the (frankly unbelievable) promotional quotes:

“Highly accomplished, The Accident on the A35 works on several levels… The narration has the simple momentum of classic crime writing… It has a denouement like something out of Greek tragedy but delivers as a proper police procedural too… Burnet’s cleverness doesn’t get in the way of your enjoyment but playfully adds levels of meaning.” Anthony Cummins, Observer

That was not a proper police procedural, Mr. Cummins.

“[A] truly superlative tale… fascinating… one of the most clever and compelling novels to be published this year.” Lesley McDowell, Herald

Not a big reader, Lesley?

“Elegant, craftily written and frequently funny.” Phil Miller, Herald

Were the Herald on commission?

“Extravagant talent.” Mark Lawson, Guardian

Were you reading the same book, Mr. Lawson?

“Both a classy detective story and a stylish meditation on agency and existence. If Roland Barthes had written a detective novel, then this would be it.” Philip Womack, Literary Review

Pretentious bollocks.

Alan Abel

Alan Abel. Source: Wikimedia


This, from the Times obituary, should brighten up your day:

In the late 1950s Alan Abel, a young jazz drummer, was driving through Texas and found the highway blocked by a copulating bull and cow. The horrified expressions on the faces of other motorists gave him an idea. He founded the spoof Society for Indecency to Naked Animals (Sina), which campaigned to “clothe all naked animals that appear in public, namely horses, cows, dogs and cats, including any animal that stands higher than four inches or is longer than six inches”.

Abel hired an actor friend to play Sina’s earnest, bespectacled president, G Clifford Prout. He invented slogans — “A nude horse is a rude horse” and “Decency today means morality tomorrow”. He air-dropped clothes into a field of cows, added shorts to the Greyhound bus logo, and staged a demonstration outside the White House to urge Jacqueline Kennedy to cover her horse’s private parts.

The hoax — a satirical take on the moral censoriousness of the times — succeeded beyond his wildest expectations. The media was totally hoodwinked.

It gets better. But the finish is, I believe, unique:

Alan Abel, hoaxer, was born on August 2, 1924, and really did die, after a heart attack, on September 14, 2018, aged 94.

The whole thing is here (behind a paywall). The Wikipedia version is here.

I have never heard of Abel before reading the obituary. Sounds like he was one of those guys that gives power to the saying ‘nowt so queer as folk.’ But I do like how often he took the media for a ride.

If We Were Villains – M. L. Rio

The plot here revolves around Oliver Marks, sentenced to ten years for the murder of one of his fellow students at a prestigious arts institution, a murder he may or may not have committed. On his release, somehow – and this is the weakest part of the novel – Marks is persuaded to unburden himself, and tell the man who was the policeman who investigated the crime and led to Marks’ incarceration, the whole story.

The color and backdrop is Shakespearean in all its glory, because Marks and his fellow students were thespians, craving success, fame, and fortune on the stage. So, for example, much of the group’s chat is peppered with Shakespearean quotes. What’s worse, from my perspective, is that some of the scenes are – literally – scenes, with the reader forced to wade through line after line of more Shakespearean language. Horrible. It is well done if you are a Shakespearean nut, but otherwise it’s overdone.

On the plus side, the group are well sketched, and the dynamics between them – if not the dialog – are well illustrated, and sharply observed. For example, the shifting of perspectives with the changes in anticipated casting as the group move from play to play, were especially fine, as was the gradual peeling of the onion skin of each character, so we could see what parts of their performance were actually performance, and which were their real character. The life of an elite arts institution seemed authentic, and the storytelling – theatricals aside – was good.

For me, the book was too full of its arty drama world to be fully engaging. I am not a theater fan, and Shakespeare is a torture that should never darken the door of modern educational establishments. So, there were chunks that I might as well not have read. But despite that, I was taken enough by Oliver Marks to want to get to the end. And the end is well worth getting to.

If you like the theater – especially Shakespeare – go for it. You will love it. Otherwise, probably best avoiding.

Hollywood Moon – Joseph Wambaugh

I bought this book years ago, when I got my first Kindle. Somehow, I never read it, and it remained overlooked and ignored until a recent search through my purchases as part of preparing a new tablet. Glad I found it.

Wambaugh’s skill on show here, is taking real life encounters from the cops of Hollywood, and crafting out of their hodge podge of jokes, urban myths, and legends, an entertaining novel – one that tells a decent story, while simultaneously letting us readers peek behind the curtains and get a taste of the dark underbelly we all know is there, but want to ignore.

This book has two main strands. The first is a prowler, whose attacks on women are escalating in violence and severity. The second is a one man criminal enterprise, Dewey Gleason, who has a different persona (disguise, name, and accent) for each of the several cons he is running.

Both baddies are sympathetically and accurately drawn, to the extent that you may feel some measure of anxiety as they head towards their inevitable comeuppance. Also inevitably, these strands are set to come together, adding a further spice to the narrative.

The police heroes vary in quality of characterization, from cardboard cutouts to full blown, believable, enthralling edifices. That’s to be expected. What is unexpected is the realistic way some of the better characters are, shall we say, written out of the story.

In short, good stuff; neither fresh nor cutting edge, but realistic, thoughtful, and often life affirming, even if you sometimes get the impression the author is on autopilot when telling us about some of the police encounters. Recommended.

European Parliamentary Transparency

This, from Guido Fawkes:

The EU has again blocked the publication of MEPs’ expenses, with Euro-judges today quashing a three-year battle by journalists to get the documents published after the European Parliament itself previously refused to hand over any details. The judges in the ECJ’s sister court ruled that the Parliament was right not to publish the documents as it would enable the MEPs to be individually identified.

Transparency? That’s so un-European

Read the whole thing, here.